Friends

"Sometimes I see myself fine, sometimes I need a witness

And I like the whole truth

But there are nights I only need forgiveness

Sometimes they say "I don't know who you are

But let me walk with you some"

And I say "I am alone, that's all

You can't save me from all the wrong I've done."

But they're waiting just the same

With their flashlights and their semaphores

And I'll act like I have faith and like that faith never ends

But I really just have friends"

- Dar Williams

Every time I hear this song I am reminded how precious friendship and community are. I don't know where I would be in life if I didn't have a "witness" to remind of who I am and where I have come from. Sometimes, you just need someone to sit with you, and listen, and not judge....just love. Because they know who you are, even in your ugliest moments, they know YOU...the real you. They know what to say, or not to say.

My friends and family are a special bunch. Each and everyone has something beautiful to share with this world. Each one has something that I can learn from. Sometimes I feel like a black page. All of my friends and family have each made their mark on me. Sometimes the mark is pain, but mostly the mark is some form of beauty.

I desire every day to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good wife, and a good mom. I want my mark to be one of love and those most important in my life. I want to make an impression. I want to be known by my love in the way Jesus was known. I want to show that I care. That I love. I want to be known to be able to be a witness to the good of a person in their moment of struggle, or pain. I want to be able to hold someone up, and have faith for them, when they are not strong enough on their own.

This is just something that's been in my head lately, so I thought I'd share.

You can listen to the whole song here, or just read the lyrics here. It's a beautiful, but very slow, song. Enjoy.

Running. (sorry this took a while)

As most of you probably know, I spent this summer training for a half marathon. I'm not going to be shy here, I am very proud of myself. First of all, running is NEVER something that I thought I could do. As a young child, and into my teens, I struggles with pretty severe asthma. When we had to run a mile in 6th grade for our fitness test....well, lets just say, I was last, and you probably could have watched almost a full episode of the office (minus commercials) before I finished. When I went to high school all my girl friends joined the cross country team. The thought of running made me cringe, but all of my friends were doing it, and in high school, you just have to succumb to those kinds of pressures. Let me tell you, I am so glad that I did. I loved it!! In many ways, it probably changed my life.

Fast forward 7 years. After having Harper, I decided to run a half marathon. My sweet friend, decided she was going to run with me. We lasted about 1 week before she got pregnant and decided training would be a bit to tricky while pregnant (very smart move) and I, in turn, gave up. I felt like a bit of a failure...ok....a LOT like a failure.

Fast forward 2 1/2 more years. I just had my second son, Greyson. I was feeling fat, out of shape, and frankly, a little depressed about life. I needed something. I started thinking about what I could do to help myself feel better. I needed to get in shape, I needed a goal that I could accomplish (being a competetive person this a big mood lifter), I needed something just for me. I tried running once, and it was bad. I gave it a second shot when a friend of mine invited me to run with her. I don't know if it was her sweet words of encouragement, or the motivation of not wanting to slow her down, but I ran, and it felt great! With these new found feelings of accomplishment I decided train for a half marathon....again.

Training was not easy. First, family vacation happened. I was lazy and didn't run for over a week. When I got back into my training, I was struggling. I didn't think I could do it, but I pushed through. Then, just as I started feeling better my knees starting giving me trouble. The doctor okay'ed me to run, but a decided to take an extra day off, buy new cushy shoes, and hope for the best. The day before I was supposed to jump back into training I got into a car accident and hurt my back. For 2 weeks, I was not allowed to run. During these 2 weeks fear started building that there would be no way for me to do it. I tried to convince myself it was ok. There was a reason I was giving up...I had an excuse. But I still couldn't shake the feeling of failure. That first day back running was painful. Overall I felt great, but my back did not. I knew there was no way I could get back into shape in just 2 and half weeks. With the help of my chiropractor, my friends running the race with me, and my beloved husband, I somehow kept going. I didn't let myself give up.

Also, did I mention I am still breast feeding my (then) 5 month old son? On the last few long runs I had to feed him, run, then come back and feed him again. It was tiring!! He was also in the habit of waking up every 2 hours at night to eat and I had to get up at 7am to run! This was probably my biggest hurdle...pure exhaustion. I told you I wasn't going to be shy. I'm proud of myself for doing this!

The race was hard. The sun was hot. The hills were looong. But I did it. I crossed the finish line in just over 2 1/2 hours. I'm so glad I did it, and so glad it's over :). I may do another one some day, but for now, I'm taking a break and sticking with 5k's.

I love running.

This is Liz....

I mentioned a week, or so, ago that I was thinking about changing my blog name. I decided to keep the name, and just take out any specific focus. I enjoy having a place I can write, and I want to write about anything I feel the urge to write about. My thoughts are often random, my passions are often shifting, and my struggles are often overwhelming....so I'm just going to write. Whatever comes to mine, whenever that may be. Thanks for being a part of my journey.

Changing my blog name.

In the last few weeks I realized that I have fallen from what my original blog set out to do. So, I'm revamping. Not sure what I'll change, or what it will be called, but I'm thinking about it. I'm sure the content will stay pretty much the same.

Well, that's all I have to say about that.

A friend said it best, "Today I got a workout AND a therapy session."

Just about two months ago, I dove head first (you can take this literally, have you every seen a downward dog?) into the world of yoga. I've enjoyed the relaxation, stretching, and the subtly of a killer work out.

Most weeks I giggle to myself as the class chants and "oms", and the instructor talks about opening our hands to the earth and drinking the juice of the peaches, and connecting into and becoming one with the universe. This last Tuesday however, as the instructor began going through her flow of poses she mentioned that many of the poses we were doing were poses of gratitude, I found myself in a beautiful place of praise and worship to the Creator of the Universe, the earth, and even the juice of the peaches. In each mountain pose, with a slight backbend, I offered up my thanks the the Lord. As I laid on the floor in Savasana at the end of class, I was brought to a new place of gratitude. I was reawakened to all the things that God has given me, and found myself humbled in His glory.

Today was an especially, how do I say this, "earthy" class. If you don't know, today is the autumnal equinox: equal light, equal night. Our instructor talked about the balance and tension between these two very different things and finding the balance within ourselves. She came back to this theme more often that I could handle, but it is a refreshing reminder. I need to balance myself, as a mother, a wife, a chef, a maid, a friend, a person. She also was talking about seasons. She encouraged us as we entered into the fall season to leave our "stuff" behind: the struggles, the crisis, the frustrations, the lessons learned. I realized that I have things I need to leave at the door of this last season of my life and need to go into this next season with the newfound gratefulness. Here are a few of the things that I need to leave behind....

• self doubt
• guilt
• impatience
• selfishness
• want

What are some of the things that you need to leave behind you as you enter into a new season? What are some of the things that you have learned this last season that you can take with you on your journey?

Tomorrow is the Big Day!!

Tomorrow morning I will be running my first half marathon with my friend Shannon! I can't believe it is here. I can't lie, I am nervous. It's so weird to have the jitters about something. I'll write more next week about the race and my training and struggles and joys in the midst of it!

Aaaahhhh! Start time is 9am...pray for me :).

The 4th goal.

I think I will make my 4th goal a blog challenge. So.

4. I will blog at least once a week. No more explanation needed :).